Saturday, 3rd November 2007: A Disarseterous Conspiracy, KL
*click image for bigger map
from the Lord:
Ladies and gentlemen,
The last time we communicated, it was to relay the sad news of Panda Head Curry?’s demise, whilst trying to save orphans and wretched folk in the Orphanarium blaze.
However, we later discovered to our amazement….Panda Head Curry? IS ALIVE!!!
That’s right! We had our suspicions at first, when Disarseter Records Crime Scene Investigation unit noticed strange radioactive emissions from the building. Upon further investigation, the by Disarster Records Center for Advanced Sciences РAtomic Physics team, the radiation turned out to be tachyon particles (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tachyon)! I won’t get into the physics now, as the proof and explanation of this would be too much to fit into the margin of this email. The tachyon emissions were coming from the FUTURE and were actually a coded message! The Disarseter Records Cryptography team managed to decode the message! Here it is, a message from Lord Panda… FROM THE FUTURE!!!!!
Rafil Elyas
President, Disarseter Records.
***BEGIN TRANSMISSION FROM FUTURE***********
Woo hey kiddies!
This is Lord Panda from Panda Head Curry? we’re in the future. Surprised? Well, you shouldn’t be, after all, we’re more highly evolved than you carbon based bipedal homo sapiens. We have technology that would make your head spin. Spin, like the top the Malaysian space flight participant’s playing with on the ISS.
Anyways, General Panda and I were busy evacuating our medical experiment guinea pigs orphans and wretched people from the burning human experiment center, Orphanarium. Just as the ceiling collapsed, we hurled ourselves into the future, using our Space/Time machines cleverly disguised as underpants.
We have seen the future, and it isn’t pretty, just like the past.
Actually, we‚Äôre here in KL, at Paul‚Äôs Place, it‚Äôs Sat 7:30pm November 3, 2007. Apparently, there‚Äôs a GIG going on here, some bands who wish they were as great as Panda Head Curry?, Ben‚Äôs Bitches, Carburetor Dung, Ciplak!, Onani, 360¬? Head Rotation and a bunch of others are having a launch party for Ben‚Äôs Bitches Mamak Conspiracy album.
It’s also Paul’s birthday!
The organizers are begging us to play a set, we may comply, if enough of YOU come. To commemorate Malaysia’s FIRST SPACE FLIGHT PARTICIPANT, we’ve written a couple of new songs – “Laika” and “Yuri, don’t drop your space soap!”.
Woo Hey, seronoknya! I’ll bet you’re wetting your pants in anticipation!
However, we’ll probably be playing very early i.e., opening at 8:00pm, SHARP, we need to get back to our Secret Base quickly to wash off all the residual crap from our Space/Time jump.
So, make your way down through Time and Space and catch up with us. Hurry up! The place seems to be filling up very fast!
BTW, I’m told it‚Äôs a FREE SHOW, you just need to RSVP this message to get on the list. Consider this message your invite.
Send your Real Name to email.
previous post:
Press Release.
Rafil Elyas
President
Disarseter Records Sdn Bhd.
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
27 September 2007
Lord and General Panda Killed in Building Fire – Memorial and Tribute Gig.
Global musical phenoms, philanthropists, spiritual gurus and technical geniuses, Panda Head Curry? were killed in a building fire in Balakong on 9 September 2007. Lord and General Panda? were evacuating the tenants, mainly orphans, feeble and wretched people when the building collapsed. Their bodies were not found.
Cowardly people snapping photos and watching while Lord and General Panda? rush into the building to save orphans and wretched people
Known for their ultra right wing, pro mufti Perak, fundamentalist, anti-vegan, homophobic and misogynic sing-alongs, Panda Head Curry? were embarking on their planet wide tour following the release of their latest album, “One Thousand Homo Humpbacks”. An announcement was made at a Central Market gig two weeks ago by CIJ Head Cheese Sonia R. According to Ms. R, the circumstances of the fire were dubious, she implied that “Panda Head Curry? probably started it themselves”. A baseless accusation by one of the Panda Head Curry?’s biggest detractors.
Claims that Panda Head Curry? owned the building and were hoping to cash in their insurance policy were complete slander. Panda Head Curry? did own the building, a testament to their generosity and philanthropy. It was the worlds first “Orphanarium”, a building that housed orphans from all over the world. Its walls were made of glass, so people could see the orphans at play and rest. People would stop by during lunch breaks where the orphans would put on skits and perform choral arrangements of Panda Head Curry? songs. The Orphanarium had an unparalleled adoption rate. Accusations that Panda Head Curry? were using the orphans for medical research were completely untrue and probably a CIJ smear campaign.
Panda Head Curry? hired wretched, homeless, the dregs of society, to staff the Orphanarium. “Look, everyone likes kids? Just because someone is labeled “schizophrenic” doesn’t mean he don’t like kids”, said General Panda? in a 2001 interview.
We are making this press release several weeks after the incident. This has been done to manage the grief of the planet wide grief. We feared Panda Head Curry? fans and disciples may riot and commit mass suicide, so we’ve been breaking the news slowly and in stages.
A memorial and tribute for Panda Head Curry? shall be held in Paul’s Place on 3 November 2007. This event is Invitation Only. Entrance is free. If you are reading this, consider yourself INVITED. If you would to attend, you MUST RSVP with an email to phc@disarseter.com. Please send in your (real) FULL NAME so we can get you on the guest list.
This event also coincides with owner, Paul Millot’s Birthday and Ben’s Bitches Album Release Party – A Disarseterous Conspiracy!
Lots of party games and party pack give aways!
Date: 3rd Nov 2007 (Sat)
Time: 8:00 pm
Venue: Paul’s Place (map below)
Bands
Ben’s Bitches
360 Degree Head Rotation
Onani
Ciplak
ETC
A surprise totally kick ass band has yet to confirm.
Come, celebrate the life of Panda Head Curry? Paul’s nth birthday, and Ben’s Bitches Album Release (copies of the Mamak Conspiracy and other fine Disarseter Records products will be available for purchase).
Please send questions or condolences to this email
Yeah!
Sedapnya mamak masak kari.
😉
Darn,
I wanna see Onani perform!
Missed it the last time.
panda head curry sedap tak ??
bir tapir paling lazat!
This has gotta be the most hilarious post I’ve seen in awhile! What balls!! You guys rule and I haven’t even heard your music yet…
kari ayam tarak ka??